Ultimately, You Fall
by ChelseaMarieC
Summary: She is adamant about never picking a family, she wants nothing to do with others, but can someone go and change that all? Kate doesn't believe so until she comes across a family, and for her, everything has changed. Now, can she let herself be happy or will she continue to hide herself away? Can he change all that? Can Kate finally be free?
1. Chapter 2

Ch. 2 So Here I Am

I am startled my a soft knock on my door and I jerk upright in a panic. It isn't until I hear my name being whispered, that I bother to open my eyes. There, sitting on the edge of my bed is Martha.

"I didn't mean to scare you honey. I just wanted to check on you and let you know that dinner is ready. And Mr. Castle just got home."

"It's ok. And thanks. I'll be right out." I rub my eyes and push my hair back. She smiles before she leaves and I smile in response.

I take a deep breath and allow myself to look at the clock. It's **7:00 P.M. **I realize that I have been asleep for six hours. No wonder she bothered with me. I haven't eaten all day and I come to the conclusion that I am starving. I kick my feet off my bed and flip the lamp on and decide to change. I unzip my backpack and pull out a pink t-shirt that Cher bought me on our last school clothes shopping trip. It fits comfortably and I leave my new room.

The smells from the kitchen are wafting through the entire house and I am immediately hit with them. It smells like pasta of some sort and I pick up my pace. I walk through the living room and make my way into the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're up. We were just about to eat. Have a seat." Martha points to the dining room and when I walk in, Alexis and Rick are already seated at the table. Alexis sprints to me and knocks into my legs.

I smile and pat her back and she releases her grip. "Will you read to me tonight? Rick usually does but I want my sissy to." She smiles so proudly when she says it that I don't think anyone has ever let her down.

"She isn't your sister." Rick says it so bitterly that I take a step backward like he just hit me.

"Uh-huh." She seems so certain that I don't have the heart to say no.

"Sure I will." She seems delighted and pulls me into another hug.

"Alexis, sit down." I hear a man's voice behind me and I turn around to see someone, who must be Mr. Castle.

"Hello. You must be Kate. My name is Jackson." He hands out his hand and I shake it, studying him as I do. He is a spitting image of Rick and I just stare in amazement.

"Oh, Jack. Let her sit down. Kate, I hope you like spaghetti." Martha sets a big pot in the middle of the table and I can feel my stomach grumble.

"I do. Thank you." I wait till I am handed a big pasta bowl full before I reach for my fork.

"Kate? We say grace before we eat." Martha doesn't say it as if I have no manners. She is just keeping me well informed. I nod and wait till Rick opens his mouth.

"Dear God, we thank you for this meal and all the things you provide for us everyday. We thank you for our new addition, Kate, and hopefully you will watch out for her the way you've watched out for us. Amen."

"Amen." I whisper. The last time I said grace was when I was ten, the day my parents died.

I happily eat my meal while I watch and listen to them talk about their day. I used to do this exact thing with my parents. Even if they were a part of whatever I was talking about they would listen like they had no idea of any of it.

The table goes quiet and it takes me a second to realize they were talking to me.

"Kate?" I look at Martha and shake my head.

"Sorry."

"That's fine. But, I was letting you know that tomorrow I am going to get you registered at Rick's high school. Tonight I have a performance but Mr. Castle will be here if you need anything. Ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks again. I really appreciate it." I don't sound fake because I am trying not to. I am generously grateful for them. They're the first family I have felt comfortable with. And after dinner I can see why. They really love each other, so much in fact that they all say goodnight to Alexis, together.

I am busy in my room, unpacking and trying to not wrinkle my clothes when Jackson, knocks on my door. I let him enter and he smiles at my clothes.

"Some great bands you got there. Where did you get them all?" He picks up a Ramones shirt and laughs to himself.

"My dad. They were all his. He was big on his music. I am too." He hands me back the shirt and I carefully fold it and toss it in my stack.

"Alexis said you promised to read to her. I tried to read to her but she insisted it be you. Do you mind?"

"Not at all and I did promise." He points me in the direction of her room and I smell the lavender soap before I even walk through the door.

"Kate!" I sit down on the bed next to her and she hands me a big book with fairytales in it. "Can you read my favorite?"

"What's your favorite? Mine is Sleeping Beauty." She seems shocked and I figure out why. "Is yours Sleeping Beauty too?"

"Yes! I told you we are sisters." She waits until I crack open the book before she snuggles up to me. Her little head is rested on my stomach and I hold the book high enough to not hit her.

"Once upon a time there lived a King and a Queen." I maybe make it to the second page before I hear her soft whisper of breath. I realize that she has fallen asleep. I set the book on the night table and lift her up and over. I try not to wake her and flip off her light as I leave. But before I turn back to my room, I stand there and watch her sleep. She is so small and fragile that I almost cry. Her red hair is sprawled across her pillow and I smile. She pulls her bunny closer to her and I leave before she wakes up.

I step inside my room, close the door behind me, and start to cry. She has her parents still and mine died because of me. I know I didn't give you the entire story. Here it goes.

I found out that they were on their way to a bookstore to pick me up a new book. I found out because as they were almost there, some idiot was drunk and crashed into them, head on. They died instantly. They didn't suffer but I was left to. I would have given up reading but I couldn't. I know my parents would be disappointed. I know they would be mad at me for blaming myself but I can't help it. It was my fault. I stopped crying after that but every once in a while, I catch myself doing just that.

I put what little clothes I brought into one of the drawers and change into a t-shirt with Iron Man on it and a pair of red and gold boxer shorts. They're my usual sleepwear, a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. After I am changed I decide to brush my teeth. I pull my toothbrush out of my bag and walk down the hall to the bathroom that all three of us kids use.

And as I do, I hear soft music. I tip-toe to the room it's coming from and I peek inside the open crack. I see Rick sitting in a chair, strumming a guitar. He hums a melody and I hear how beautiful it is. I don't leave right away, I just stand there, listening. The muscles in his arms move as he hits each note and I can feel my heart beating heavily. I stumble into the door, and it creaks open.

"What are you doing?" He just looks at me and I get nervous. More like embarrassed, so I bolt. I walk into the bathroom and close the door and lean back against it. I feel stupid and my cheeks are bright red and I feel warm, everywhere.

The door opens and sends me tipping forward. He steps in but doesn't say anything until the door is closed behind him. He crosses his arms over his chest and I take notice of what he is wearing. Just a plain white t-shirt and a pair of boxers, but his are blue and green.

"Why were you spying on me?" I don't say anything but just stand there dumbfounded. "I don't appreciate it."

"I was just surprised. You sounded beautiful." I think for a minute that he is going to get angry but he just laughs.

"Beautiful? That's one word for it. I thought you were spying. Sorry." He smiles before he goes to leave but then stops himself.

"What? Aren't you mad at me?" I cross my arms against my chest but he just walks closer to me and smiles.

"I don't get mad that easily. Just don't surprise me anymore. Ok?" He doesn't wait for me to answer before he leaves. The door is closed after him and I let out the breath I was holding. My whole body is broke out in goose bumps and I shiver. I quickly brush my teeth and head back to bed. But I don't sleep. I lie there, awake all night. When the clock hits **2:00 A.M. **I give up and allow my eyes to close. Wish I hadn't.

I am dreaming of my parents then it flashes to the cops telling me they're dead. I don't deny it, I know they are. I knew they were. But when they tell me, I blame them at first. Then it flashes back and forth. My dad smiling at me and dancing with me. My mom is singing to me then it goes dark. I try to call for them but they don't answer. I just hear crying and then the room grows entirely too bright and I see the wreck. It was like it was in the newspaper but it is really sharp in focus. I am standing in front of their bleeding bodies and am begging them to come back but they just stare. I start to cry and feel like I can't breathe. The room grows cold and I start shaking. I scream for it to stop but it doesn't.

A hand is shaking me awake and I can barely hear my name.

"Kate! Wake up Kate! It's just a dream! Everything is ok!" I snap my eyes open and Martha is there, already dressed for the morning. "You're ok honey." She rubs my head like any mother would and for a minute I let myself go. She pulls me into her arms and I cry on her shoulder. I heave and she is rubbing my back and trying to calm me down.

"They wouldn't answer me. I, I couldn't breathe." She shushes me and I let her comfort me. I let her hold me and let myself cry on her shoulder.

"You're ok now. I'm here. I won't leave you." She continues to rub my back and then kisses my head. "Are you ok now? It was just a nightmare." I hear my door creak open and Alexis's head pops in.

"Mommy? Is Kate ok?" There are fresh tears on her face and I feel bad. I hate myself for making her cry.

"I'm ok Alexis. It was just a nightmare." She looks confused and I force myself to explain. "You know a not nice dream. Ever have one of those?"

"Yes. They're scary. I don't like them." She is clutching her blue bunny and her hand is on my doorknob.

"That's what I had. I was just scared. You can come in if you want." She runs to me and throws herself into my lap and squeezes me.

"I love you Kate. I won't let the mean dreams get you." I rub her back and Martha smiles at me.

"Thanks Alexis. Love you too." I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer.

"You two should get an hour more of sleep because I will be waking you both up in no time." I look at the clock and see it's **6:00 A.M. **I nod and she goes to grab Alexis but she increases her grip on me.

"No mommy! I need to protect Kate." She looks up at me like she is scared for my life and I let her stay. She crawls under the covers beside me and snuggles into my arms.

"Ok then. Goodnight girls." Martha turns out my light and leaves us to get more sleep. She leaves my door open a crack and my eyes drift closed as her footsteps fade.

When I wake, Martha is standing over Alexis and me and is holding a finger to her lips. She just didn't want to startle me and I am grateful. She points to my clock and I see that it's five past seven. I nod and let her wake up Alexis.

Alexis opens her eyes and smiles right away. She looks up at me and hugs me before sliding off the bed. "Good morning Mommy. Morning Kate." She waves to me and leaves my room but Martha stays.

"I know it is the last thing you want to do on a Saturday but we do need to get you registered. But, Jackson made breakfast and I would like it if you'd join us." I look at her, already dressed in jeans and look down at my clothes. "Nonsense. Everybody else is still in their pajamas." She takes the covers off me and pulls me up and out of bed.

She walks the whole way to the kitchen with her arm around my shoulders and a smile on her face. I feel like I could actually make this place work and I smile back at her, though she doesn't see me, I think she just knows. When we reach the table, again I see everyone already sitting down. I take my seat beside Alexis, just like the night before and she offers me a big smile.

We say grace and I eat eggs and sausage. Alexis takes a link off my plate and I don't get upset, I just laugh. She whispers to keep quiet and Martha didn't catch her but Rick did. And to be kind, he tosses one of his links on my plate. He waves it off like to say "Don't mention it".

After breakfast, I was told to be ready to go in ten minutes. I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, and brushed my hair out. I left it down and went back to my room to get changed. I was now going to be going to Hunter College High School with Rick and there was a campus elementary school that Alexis is going to. I didn't know how to dress. How fancy was this school? Would I have to wear a uniform? I was clearly out of my element so I went with what I knew.

I slid on my favorite pair of jeans and dug around for my dad's vintage bowling shirt. It is black and white and has the name, Strike, on it but it is my most comfortable shirt. I slip my iPod into my pocket along with my ear buds and leave the comfort of my room. I will be starting my second semester of Junior year in a new school. Fun! Not. I walk back into the living room where Martha is waiting for me and smile.

"You look so cool." She offers me a warm and comforting smile and I slide my feet into my sneakers. "I was thinking, after we get you all setup, why not go shopping. New clothes are always fun." I turn around and catch Rick and Alexis following us out. "Alexis loves to go shopping and Rick thought he would go too. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." I thought Rick would take the front seat but he opens the door for me and slides in back with Alexis. "Thanks." We stay pretty quiet the whole ride there until Rick leans forward and flips the radio on. "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons comes on and I allow myself to sing along.

"This road never looked so lonely, this house doesn't burn down slowly, to ashes, to ashes." I tap my hand on my knee and wait for my favorite part, where it slows down and is only clapping. I feel eyes on me and I am right. Rick and Alexis are staring and I catch glimpses of Martha's face. "What?"

"Who knew you could sing? Darling, if you ask me, you got it."

"Crap." I catch the words fly out of Rick's mouth and I smile to myself. Maybe I could really allow myself to be a part of this family.

After I got registered, I was handed a list with all my classes and found out Rick and I shared most of the same ones. I was happy to know at least one person but was nervous because just being near him, I get easily distracted. So much for passing any of my classes. Another high note, no uniforms.

Martha took me to Coup de Coeur for new clothing and I was happy to see normal clothes. I found some really cool tank tops and some skinny jeans but Martha warned me not to get too much in one place. I picked out two tank tops, one was pink and black striped and the other was long and flowed out, with a big green tree on it. I got two pairs of black skinny jeans when Alexis handed me a dress. I was nervous because I don't usually wear them but I tried it on anyway. They made me model it and I came out in a sky blue dress and the back was crisscrossed rectangles. The dress's back looked like a checkerboard and I actually loved myself in it. They both insisted I get it and when I caught Rick looking at me, something was in his eyes that I couldn't explain.

After we left there, Martha said our journey wasn't complete. She made one last stop, Strawberry and immediately I felt in my element. I browsed the many different racks of clothes and everyone brought me things to try on. Alexis found cool t-shirts with random pictures on them. Martha brought me some jeans and dresses. Rick brought me slutty things, a few halter tops and leather skirts. He laughed when he handed them to me so I knew he was kidding but I still wanted him to get me to put them on.

I tried on a few t-shirts I liked and all the jeans that fit me. I even tried on a few dresses. They were funky and edgy and were totally my style. I ended up picking three. I was modeling the last dress when I caught a couple of girls snickering at me. I don't know what they were saying but I could only guess. I quickly changed back into my clothes I wore there and abandoned the dressing room. Martha stayed in the store as did Alexis but Rick followed me out.

"You know my mom is in there buying all the clothes you liked. Why did you bolt anyway?" I didn't look at him but just kept my head down. I let my hair shield my eyes but he pulled it back behind my ears.

Hot tears stained my cheeks and he let my hair go. "Those girls back there were making fun of me. I usually just tell them to fuck off but, I felt naked in there." I stop my crying because I don't want him to see me like this. I turn my back to him as I wipe the tears from my face.

He turns me around and forces me to look at him. "They were just jealous that you happen to be way better than them."

"I am not better than them. You can stop fucking with me."

"One, stop swearing and two, you certainly are better looking than them. Besides, they have no boobs and you," He stopped himself and let my shoulders go. His cheeks turned red and he just leaned against the brick wall next to me.

Martha stepped out of the store, bags in hand, and looked me over. "Those girls are jerks anyway." She dropped the bags in the trunk and I slid in the backseat with Alexis. I just wanted to listen to my iPod and forget the way he looked at me. Because I couldn't let anything develop between us. That was the way it had to be.

But Rick scooted next to me and laid his hand on my knee and squeezed. He leaned into my ear and gently whispered, "I am right here. Remember that." He squeezed my knee once more then hopped in the passenger seat, leaving me completely confused. He's right here? What does that mean to me? My knee is on fire from where his palm was and I feel my heart beat faster and I start to loose my breath. I thought he didn't like me, now he does? Shit! So, here I am, means what to me, exactly?


	2. Chapter 1

Ch. 1 It's Not How Any Of This Was Supposed To Go

I can only think back to when I was ten, the time when everything went wrong. It was a particularly good morning. It was just turning to summer and the sun was especially bright. I loved that about my room, whether it be dark or light, my room would take on its whole affect. My dad and mom had just gathered me up for the day and were busy making my favorite, chocolate chip pancakes, and were singing, loudly, to the music. It was a ritual with my mom and dad, to start everyday, no matter what, with music. It's something that has stuck with me more than anything.

I would sleep in my dad's old shirts for pajamas and I always wore them with such pride. My parents didn't understand what is was about them that I wore them like a badge of honor. But in some way that's what they were, a piece of me that was more than just a shirt.

I was wearing an old Aerosmith shirt and was propped on a seat in front of the island. I knew I was in my parents' way but they never once mentioned that I was. They would just sing and work around me.

This day, they started the day with Buddy Holly and my dad even skipped to my favorite song of his, "Oh Boy". I was singing along with them while my dad was finishing up my breakfast. My mom had sat beside me at some point but I was too busy transfixed by my dad to notice.

My dad flopped two pancakes on my plate and not bothering to put on syrup, I never used syrup with chocolate chip pancakes, it would ruin them. Just a dab of butter and I was good to go. He poured me a glass of chocolate milk, another one of my favorites, before joining me and my mom at the kitchen table.

I wore my favorite sundress that day. It was a spaghetti strapped dress that I always wore a t-shirt underneath it, because I had standards. It was purple, the color of violets. My mom had bought it for my ninth birthday, the summer before this one. I was so proud to wear it that it became my instant favorite. I guess I have always been like that.

They promised to take me to the park but they had errands to run. I knew where they were going, to get me a surprise. They would do all their grocery shopping and at the very end, they would pick up a surprise for me. I was dropped off with The Beverlys who lived next door. They were big on reading and if my parents were gone for a really long time, I could easily polish off a book.

But this time, I finished with my book and they were still gone. So I read another. After three books, I finally went to check the clock and found The Beverlys crying. There were only two times I saw them both cry, when they lost their son in the war and when I almost got hit by a car. But I knew, something was wrong. The silence spoke louder than any of their words could. They just didn't know how mature I was. I understood it all.

I knew by their faces that my parents were never coming home. I had eaten the last pancake my dad would ever make. I sung with them for the last time. I would wear this dress for the last time. I would stay at The Beverlys for the last time. I would enjoy my birthday for the last time. No more surprises would they bring home for me. No more them. I knew it before Mrs. Beverly opened her mouth to say, "Pumpkin". The nickname would only upset me. I did the most logical thing in the world: I ran.

I ran till my little legs stopped. I was probably twenty blocks from The Beverlys and I just collapsed and started to cry. It wasn't until a patrol cop found me and asked where my parents were that it all hit me, like a brick being thrown at my chest.

I answered the only way I could, "I don't know." It was honest. Where did they die? How? I never bothered to find out before I just ran away. The officer took my hand and drove me to the station. It wasn't until I was there, seated with a cup of lemonade, that he bothered to ask my name.

"Kate. Kate Beckett." It was easy from there to get ahold of The Beverlys. They couldn't keep me which was no surprise. They were too old to raise a ten year old. To watch me was one thing but to raise me? And to this day I haven't blamed them once. I even went to their funeral when I was thirteen and said a few things on their behalf.

I was immediately put into a foster home that was straight and honest, I was there for the money. Nothing else mattered. But when I complained, I was moved. It has been that way ever since. I have never found a place like home. I was never comfortable and I have spent every time trying to relocate.

I want to be emancipated but my social worker has always been straight out against it. She kept all my parents most treasured belongings with her so I would always have them. So in the grand scheme of things, I can't get mad at her for caring for me.

So, I stand with Cheryl, right now, in front of her car. She is all too busy shaking her head at me and I just smile, because I have won once again. I shove my only backpack in the backseat and I happily drive back with her to her house.

"Kate, you have to stop doing this. You were only with them for three days. You didn't even try."

Her caramel skin sparkles in the afternoon sun and I reach out and trace my finger over her birthmark on her cheek.

"I don't know why you just can't keep me."

"We've been over this before Kate. I can't. I love you but you need to show me you bother to try. Until then, you can spend the night at my house but tomorrow morning, we are finding you a new foster home. Got it?"

Her thick Italian accent makes me crave garlic bread every time she talks but when she quickly looks at me I just nod and give my most reassuring smile. It was what I had wanted all along, to be at her house another night. The only place besides my home that ever had a presence of my parents. And as soon as we pull up, I grab my backpack and head up to the attic.

In the very back is a cot she set up for me six years ago when this all started. I head over to the cot and throw myself down on it. The springs sag under my weight and I feel solid. I hear her footsteps and know she is going to ask if I want to pick what is for dinner and then I'll say "whatever" and she'll come sit with me, push the hair away from my face and leave without saying anything else.

"Kate? What do you want to do with your life?" This surprises me and I sit up and look at her. And for the first time, I see wrinkles. Heavy set wrinkles and I know before asking that I am the cause of them.

"I'm sorry for your wrinkles." The comment surprises even her and she laughs then sets her jaw tight again.

"Do you want to never bother to take a chance? To never give anyone a try?" She makes her way to me and slams the record player lid down. "I try, all the time for you but how you act, it doesn't show." She raises her voice a little and this has never happen. I have never felt as guilty as I do now.

"I am so sorry." I don't really cry anymore, it's as if my tear dux stopped existing a long time ago but now, looking at her, I can't hold back. I know my tears must have surprised her but she doesn't falter. What she does, is something she has always done for me, hold me and just be there for me.

I must have cried for a while because when my eyes open, it's well into night and my eyes are glued shut from the dried tears. I rub my eyes frantically and sit up, knocking something over. I see it was a book with a note taped to it.

**Kate,**

I love you but you need to stop being afraid of everything and the entire world. You have so much to offer that it scares me. Read this, it's your favorite. These are things someone could learn about you if you let them. Dinner is in the fridge and I will be waking you up at 5 A.M. tomorrow. Eat then sleep.

Love is light,

Cher

I laugh at her signoff but secretly envy it because she has her own thing. She always has said to me that love was a light. It had the power to make someone shine. I see the cover of the book after I peel off the note and smile.

It's The Great Gatsby and is in fact my favorite. I think I have read it over fifty times and I am not exaggerating. I read really fast and in one month, I just read it over and over. My original copy was so worn that Cheryl, I call her Cher, replaced it. I think I get a new copy every year. She donates the other copies to the center she works for. I know that if I let someone get to know me, I might feel something.

I can't have that. I can only care for one person and I pick Cher, I will always pick Cher. She doesn't push but holds me sturdy. I am alive because of her. I realize that it's already midnight and my stomach is growling. I don't bother changing out of my clothes, I just go downstairs and warm up the three slices of sausage pizza.

After downing that and a glass of chocolate milk, I head back upstairs and climb into bed. I don't sleep right away but I try. And just like every time before, when I close my eyes, I see my parents. But I don't seem them in their caskets, that would be easy. I see them how they were that morning, dancing and singing to Buddy Holly. I see them smile at me like I am the reason they breathe. I shut my eyes tighter and force myself not to cry. I have to be tough. If I allow that dam to break, what will stop it from drowning me?

Cher was right. It's five in the morning and I hear her footsteps on the attic stairs. It never seizes to amaze me on how precise she is. She opens the door and just turns my iPod on. It's how I wake up, same as when I was little. She leaves and knows I will get up, I always do.

But when I open my eyes, I see nothing but darkness. I feel that if someone was to look inside me that is all they would see: darkness. It is too early for most of the world to be up but here I am , wide awake and listening to my iPod. I realize that I have been awake or at least three minutes because my iPod has changed songs.

I hear "The Answer" by Automatic Loveletter come on and I throw back the covers. I sing along, shouting my voice along with Juliet Simms. She has one of the best voices I have ever heard. It has such rasp and soul, mixed with her rock sound, that I go nuts every time I hear her. I kick off my socks and slide a new pair of jeans on. I dig around through the only dresser up there. I pull out an old top of my dad's but now it fits me like a regular shirt. It is grey and has a logo of Blondie on the front. It was one of my favorites because every time I wore it he would laugh like he couldn't believe that at one point he owned the shirt. It makes me smile and as my iPod flips to "Make Up Smeared Eyes", I turn it off and bolt downstairs.

"You have breakfast to eat then I will be coming at about," She pauses and checks her watch even though she knows exactly what time it is. "Noon. Be ready and packed. I will have found a new family by then. Got it?" I just nod and try not to look smug.

She comes over, pulls my head down and kisses the top, right on my hair line. She pats my shoulder as she leaves and pokes her head out just in time to yell, "I love you!" I say "Me too." Then go grab my bagel from the toaster. Even though I insist on making my own food, Cher always does it for me. I spread a heavy layer of cream cheese on it but once I sit down with it and it's in front of me, I am nauseous. I push it away from me and head back upstairs.

I kick around my shoes until I find my worn Converse. They're black and white and barely can be called a shoe anymore. I head to the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth. My hair hangs haphazardly and I frown. I never have considered myself beautiful but my dad called me it everyday, twice a day. I am in full anger mode as I yank it up into a ponytail.

I head back to the attic and dig around through my shit until I find my leather jacket. I interlace two black gel bracelets on my right wrist and pull my skateboard from under a pile of old newspapers. I yank my iPod off the dock and grab my ear buds from the shelf above my dresser. I grab my backpack as I run down the stairs.

I ride my board until I get to the closest subway entrance, I swipe my card and wait until I get off closest to Riverside. They have one of the only skate parks Cher approves of. It's not my favorite but I'll take any park. I used to have to work for respect now there are others seeking respect from me.

I have almost completed every trick from: ollies to a pop shove-it and more. My greatest achievement was when I did a 360° . It was a crowning moment of mine but the guys were so cool. My only "friends" at the skate park are Quinn and Tru. He has cheered me on from day one and watches me do tricks then he begs to show them to him later. I have been coming to this park since I was twelve and I just earned the high status last year.

"K!" I know who it is before I look because only one person calls me K and it's Tru. Her name is Truance and she has always made fun of her name. But if you got down to it, it fits her. I don't know how, it just does. She wears only plaid. No matter what, it's her signature look. Mine is punk or so she says so.

"Hey Tru! Guess who gets a new family today?" I kick my board up and continue to do so until she stops me.

"Three days? Damn. Are you going for a record?" She grabs my board out of my hands and holds it against her chest. Today she sports her usual black, skinny, jeans but is wearing a mustard plaid shirt. She has a black tie around her neck and I love that about her. She doesn't match but she owns it. Her usual black hair is pink this time and I pull on the strands poking out of her sloppy ponytail.

"You wanted pink this time? I thought we were going to dye them together." I flip my simple brown ponytail to prove that I kept our agreement.

"Shove it!" She smacks my arm before shoving my board into my arms. "I had to! My brother shoved me a twenty and I had to before he took it back."

I would never admit it to her but I used to have a crush on her brother, Trace. His golden hair was perfect like a Greek God's would be. And those eyes, they were sparkling silver. I couldn't believe it when I saw him, he looked nothing like Tru. Her eyes were a dull blue and his were demanding. I think she always suspected something was up because she caught me numerous times running my fingers through his thick hair. He wasn't a skater but a guitar player in a college band up at NYU. He was twenty-three last time I saw him. He comes once in a while to make sure Tru is safe even though she argues against it. We never took any steps together because deep down I knew that he wasn't the one. But boy was he sure good to mess with.

"You still want to go with me though?" We had talked about it last week, me dyeing the tips black. She wanted something more extreme but Cher wouldn't clear it, I never even had to ask.

"Sure. When?"

"Next weekend. Friday after whatever school I get sent to. I'll meet you here." I hand her my iPod and she sets up a song and plugs in her portable speaker. We sit on the ledge of a ramp and play my songs. She pulls me down beside her to lay because we love when the guys jump over us.

We listen to Krewella's "Alive" and we sing along, dancing our bodies together on the edge. This is one of things that makes sense. It doesn't define who I am but it is a part of me important enough to mention. I know she would be fine if I had never crossed her path but she constantly reminds me that I am her soul sister. I had never heard of the term before her but it makes me feel worth her time.

"Tru! What time is it?" She slides her phone to me and I check the screen real quick, before, Dave attempts a jump. The screen flashes, in big clock numbers, **10: 30 A.M. **I slide the phone back to her, wait for Dave to be done and slide off the edge, pulling her with me. We make a quick thud and her foot kicks my eye.

"Shit K! That hurt!" She stands up, brushes herself off then yanks me up.

"Fuck! My eye! Damnit, now Cher is going to kill me!" She hands me my iPod back and I bump hips with her, our goodbye thing, and I run like mad to get to the subway.

"Kate, you are late. You packed?" Cher is sitting on my cot when I climb the stairs and I quickly through some things in my backpack because I know she'll bring me more.

"Sorry Cher, I didn't mean to. I was hanging with…," She holds up her hand to stop me.

"Oh, I know who you were with. Quinn and Truance. Now what in God's name, happened to your eye?" She comes right up to me and holds my chin in her hand. She gets real close to me and for a second I am nervous.

"It was an accident." She drops my chin and I grab my backpack but leave my skateboard, I know she was mad about the black eye.

"Kate," She stops at my door and smiles excitedly, "Bring the board. I want you to be as comfortable as possible." I snatch up my board and grab The Great Gatsby before leaving the only home I have known for six years, behind.

When we pull up to the foster house, I am stunned. And let me tell you that I am rarely stunned. The house is so spectacularly grand that I nearly choke on nothing.

The address is one I might want to remember, 440 E 62nd St. It's the Upper East Side and I feel like a queen just by standing on the doorstep. We make our way inside and I get nervous. But the nerves settle as Cher pushes me forward.

When Cher rings the doorbell I want to bolt. Just run and don't ever stop this time but I promised her that I would try. I can hear someone yelling on the other side and a little girl is standing in front of me when the door is opened.

"Mommy! She's here." A little red headed girl with bright blue, eyes yells behind her. She couldn't be more than six and I fight the urge to hold her.

"Thank you Alexis, honey. Go get your brother." The woman is a grown-up version of Alexis and I smile. "Hello, I'm Martha Rogers. Please, come in." She makes a grand sweep and I remember on the car ride here that Cher said she does Broadway.

"You have a freaking fantastic home!" I feel the swat on my back and I correct myself. "I mean a very lovely home." I make a fake smile but Cher takes what she can get.

"I like freaking fantastic much better." Martha smiles warmly and for once, in six years, I actually want to make it work. "I have an older son, your age, his name is Richard. He isn't coming out of his room yet. Sorry." She leads me and Cher to the living room and I let my mouth hang open like an idiot.

It has three couches, all a different color and the walls are tie dye and I immediately fall in love with the place. There are bookshelves everywhere you turn and artwork covering any empty space. There is a big flat screen TV mounted on the one wall and by any seat you could see it. The whole thing seems unreal to me.

"You get your own room and you'll share a bathroom with Richard and Alexis. I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? Are you kidding? It's an honor to live here." I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth and I don't want to take them back. I smile enthusiastically and it isn't meant to be sarcastic.

"I am so glad to hear that Kate. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your eye?"

"Oh. That, skateboard accident. No biggie, I've had worse."

"You are a tough cookie. I like 'em tough." She brought her fist up like a boxer would do and I laughed. She was perfectly wonderful.

"Thanks again Martha, I hope all can work out." Cher says her goodbyes and pulls me to the side. "I want you to try."

"I want to also." She smiles like a might have made a breakthrough and I couldn't blame her. I have. I let her hug and kiss me goodbye and for once, I am not thinking of scenarios to get myself out.

"Come here Kate." Martha places her loving arm around my shoulder and leads me to the dining room. "Have a seat and I'll get you some cookies. Just finished baking them." She slips away and my eyes try to take it all in, like I am experiencing a tour and I can't keep up with the guide.

"Excuse me!" I get a little tug on my pant leg and when I look down I see Alexis. "Do you like fairies?" She smiles so proudly that I could just eat her up.

"Tinker Bell is my favorite." Her face lights up and I think I just made her day.

"Mine too! You are going to be the best sissy!" She wraps her little arms around me and squeezes tightly.

"How old are you?"

"Five. I just lost a tooth, see?" She slips her little index finger under her top lip and pulls up, revealing a little gap.

"I see. Cool. Did the tooth fairy come yet?"

"No, silly," She brushes me off like I am crazy. "I lost it this morning. She doesn't come till night." She runs off and I think I just fell in love with her. Trust me, if you saw her, you would too.

"Here darling. Have a cookie." She slides a plate full of chocolate chip cookies towards me and brings me, none other than, a glass of chocolate milk.

"Thank you so much." I hear someone clear their throat behind me and I see Martha sigh in relief.

"Finally, Richard, please show Kate to her room." And in that moment, everything falls from underneath me. Because when I turn around, I see the reason my life makes sense, like the only thing holding me together is this guy.

His hair is a rich brown and the top of it hangs down a little and I refrain from sliding my fingers through it. His serene blue eyes call me like a Siren would from the ocean. He is muscled in every beautiful way and my heart skips. His strong shoulders make we want to jump in his arms. I don't speak but I just stare. What else would you do if the string holding you together was someone you never met?

"Sure thing mom." He leaves and I know I am supposed to follow him but I can't move. I stay seated and when he pokes his head around the corner, I force myself to move. I let go of the breath, I didn't know I was holding, and follow him, my backpack slung over my shoulder.

"This is your room." He opens the French doors to a grand room. The walls are a soft white and the curtains on the windows are teal and so is the matching bedspread. There is a full mirror, from ceiling to floor it reaches and I can't believe it's all mine. There is a bench seat in front of the bed and it looks almost too fancy to sit on. The bed looks like a queen size bed and my eyes can't comprehend it all.

I move to the balcony, that's right, I have a balcony, and I open the French doors and step out. I smell the city air and feel alive. I go back inside, but leave the doors open. There are built in bookshelves along the wall behind my bed. There is a little night table with a single drawer with a Tiffany lamp on it. The lighting is available at the slide of your finger and the ceiling fan is something to be spoken of. It is teal, I kid you not. Then the best thing in my entire room, is the desk along the one wall, opposite my bed. It's teal and has a Mac desktop on it, then next to it, to the right, is a flat screen. Not as big as the one in the living room but still, huge.

"You can change it once you make a week. My mom will take you shopping and let you pick whatever you want. I take it you like it." He seems uncertain and almost like he is trying to seek my approval.

"It's cool. Thanks." I try to act calm but my insides are bouncing. I feel like my organs are taking turns on a bouncy house. He smiles with his lips pulled together then exits. He shuts the door after him and I wait till his footsteps fade before I jump on the bed in delight. I am so marveled at my room and how comfortable I am with this family that I can easily fall asleep, without flashbacks.

But there is one thing that makes it into my dreams, a guy named, Rick.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3 Newbie

When I wake up to my iPod the next morning, I feel out of my element. Not a new thing but I never quite get used to it. Today is Sunday and we are all going to church. Church? The last time I went to church was when I was with my parents. Their funeral, the last time I stepped into a church. I have always wanted to attend but being a foster kid doesn't make it easy. I never know where I will be living and finding a church takes time. So I wake up to Colton Dixon's "Never Gone". He is Christian while I was raised Catholic. I was too young to see being Catholic wasn't for me. But now, as a Christian, I feel more myself.

So as the chorus kicks in, I know I have no choice but to get up. I check the clock and see it's **7:00 A.M. **The service is at eight and right by us but you try getting five people all ready to go in an hour. Exactly. Especially, make it two teenagers and a little kid using one bathroom. That's what I thought.

I hear a knock on my door and I yell for them to come in while I get up. I open my closet and don't bother to turn around to see who has just entered my room but when I hear their voice, I know exactly who.

"Did you want to use the bathroom first?" Rick is standing there, hands holding his elbows, and raising his eyebrows. I just nod and abandon my open closet.

And once in the bathroom, I work on calming myself down. I quickly brush my teeth, use the restroom, and try to do something with my hair before giving up. I let him know it's his and go back in my room. Once again, I am faced with my closet. I look at all the new dresses that Martha bought me yesterday but I feel none are appropriate enough for church. And as if she can sense my frustration, Martha walks in.

"Oh good, you're up." She catches my look of concern and joins me on my bed. "What's wrong Kate?" She brushes my hair out of my eyes and rests her hand on my shoulder.

"I can't find something for church. I mean look at you." I point to her two piece dress, suit. "You look perfect and I don't. I won't ever be. Look at my hair." She turns my head back and forth and nods.

"Your hair is beautiful. Now listen here, Katherine, you are beautiful. It's my fault. I forgot to get you something for church. Not a big deal. You wait right here." She holds up her finger and runs out of my room like she has the best idea ever.

When she comes back in, in her arms are hair supplies and a gorgeous dress. It is yellow and when she brings it closer I can see it's eyelet. I admire that it's sleeveless but I am so used to t-shirt sleeves that I figure I'll feel naked. She hands me a white belt and gestures to put it on, while she turns around.

So I slide into it and feel beautiful. I finger the fabric and give myself a moment of alone time. I wrap the belt around my waist and after I let her turn around, she gasps. I think something is wrong until she waves the idea of it off. She grabs my hands in hers and shakes them.

"I told you that you were beautiful. Now we need hair to go with that dress. Have a seat in front of me." I sit in front of her, on the floor, and she talks to me while she fixes my hair. "You leave it down usually?"

"That or a ponytail. Why?"

"Because with this natural wave you can. It's beautiful. I will have to leave your side bangs alone. Is that ok?"

"Definitely. Thanks again for this. You didn't have to do it."

"I know but I wanted to. After you're done, I'll do Alexis's." She pulled the top of my hair into her hands then dropped it again. She gathered a little bit of the sides and then I could feel her braiding my hair.

When she was finished, she made me get up and stand in front of the really big mirror that was awkwardly placed in my room. "What do you think?"

I gently ran my fingers over the braid that was expertly done in my hair. It was what she called a boho braid. It looked like the ring of a crown but it was a braid in my hair. I looked really good.

"I love it. Thank you." I ran and gave her a hug and she hugged me back. I was happily admiring myself in the mirror when she pointed to my feet.

"Now some shoes. Again, be right back." I waited, barefoot, twirling in front of my mirror. The dress swayed around me and I felt pretty. That was until she walked back into my room with two pairs of shoes in her hands. "I think these will fit, try both pairs on and see which one is better." One pair was black heels, I never wear heels.

I slid those on first but felt a little wobbly. The other pair were suede lace-up shoes. They looked super cute and I felt much better once my feet were in them. She smiled like she knew which ones were more me before she brought them to me.

"They're all yours. I used them in a performance once and never bothered with them again. But on you, perfect. Well, I better get Alexis going."

When she left I looked at the clock, **7:40 A.M. **Did it really take forty minutes for me to get ready? I've always been so good at keeping it under a half hour but I guess it was right. I stared at myself but then got too apprehensive and I sat on my desk chair and spun myself back and forth.

There was a light knock on my door and I stopped spinning myself to see it was Jackson. "You ready Sweetie?" I nodded and stood up and he gave me a thumbs up. "You look ravishing. Come on." He put his arm around my shoulders but let go to pick up a jumpy Alexis. She was wearing a pink and yellow, ruffled, dress and her hair was in braided pigtails. Her little white dress shoes were too cute. "You are my little angel." He kissed her nose then put her down.

Not long after he did, she slipped her hand in mine. I was happy and felt needed by someone other than needing the money they got from me. When we got to the living room, Rick was already sitting down. He was wearing khakis and a blue dress shirt. He had a yellow tie and a navy blue blazer. He looked very attractive. When he looked at me, I smiled. But he looked shocked.

"You look breathtaking." He smiled then and made his way to me. I wasn't sure of what to do and he awkwardly hugged me. I noticed then that all of us had some form of yellow on. It must be their thing, to match.

The Church of Saint Vincent Ferrer was a very nice church. But once again, it was Catholic. I didn't mind though, I was used to it. I sat next to Alexis and Rick sat next to her. It went down the pew, from the aisle, Jackson, Martha, Rick, Alexis, and then me. I didn't mind not sitting next to Rick, I wouldn't have been able to focus on the ceremony. Just being in the same vicinity made me frazzled. I was too focused that I completely missed the service. I should say that I was too focused on not thinking of Rick that I missed everything, that makes more sense. And before I knew it, the service was over. A couple of boys and a couple of girls came up to Rick and he waved for everyone to go ahead.

I was starting to follow them out when he pulled me back. "Not you. I have to introduce you to: Kevin Ryan, Javier Esposito, Josh Davidson, Lanie Parish, Javier's girlfriend, Jenny Duffy O'-Malley, Kevin's girlfriend, Tom Demming, and his girlfriend, Madison Queller." They all looked so nice that I thought I might run out of habit but I stayed right next to him. "And gang, this is Kate." They all shook hands with me but Josh's hand lingered a little bit longer.

"Hey girl." Lanie pulled me into a hug and made a big fuss over my dress.

Then Madison hugged me as did Jenny. They were both blonde and perfect while Lanie had black hair. She was African American and the only one in the whole group. Javier looked half black but there were just a bunch of whites. I felt out of place even in this group. They were all warm and inviting but something inside me, warned me to not get attached. They all fawned on me and I had to stifle a laugh. I never thought I would meet such nice people.

Tom came up behind me and placed the palm of his hand on the small of my back and I was startled. He leaned close to me and kissed the side of my head, the way a boyfriend would. I was uncomfortable, especially when Madison caught it. But I could tell by her face that it was nothing new. I pushed away from him and ran into Josh. He was really tall and held me still by my shoulders. Where his palms touched me, I was warm. But it wasn't the way I felt when Rick looked at me.

I backed away and smiled. I told everyone that I would see them all in school tomorrow and the girls exchanged phone numbers with me. Actually, they just gave me theirs, I don't have a cell phone. Cher was going to get me one but I skipped school once and she never bothered to consider it again. So, I just apologize for the lack of a necessary piece of electronics, and head out of the church with Rick in tow. I feel bad for the lack of enthusiasm I showed but I was put off by the guys' stares. Just Josh and Tom really but still.

When we pile in the back of the car, he just passes me an unfriendly smile. I bet it took a lot of him to introduce me and I feel bad. But with Alexis between us I can't say a damn thing. So, I do the next best thing, I pick up Alexis and put her in my seat. I get her and myself buckled but he still doesn't look at me.

I lean closer and whisper to him, "I am sorry I acted weird back there. I am appreciative for you introducing me to your friends, I am. I just felt uncomfortable because Tom and Josh were looking at me and, I'm sorry. Thanks." I lean away from him and then he leans closer to me.

"What do you expect? Look at you, I would feel weird if they didn't look at you. Tom is a pig but Madison puts up with it, and no I don't agree with him. And Josh? He wanted you, that was the look he was giving you." He turned to stare out the window and I sit back like I was just told how stupid I was. And I was. I go to rebuttal but I don't waste my breath. He was completely right but I have never had a guy look at me the way they did, the way Rick does.

Alexis just leans into me and I put my arm around her. I feel completely idiotic for once about subject matter that astounds me. I know that school will be very unexpected tomorrow and the normal jitters that come from the first day of school will be multiplied. So, that's my unfortunate life.

h

I wake up the next morning to a fresh perspective, school sucks no matter what. I don't bother getting up until after two songs. And not once does anyone come in my room. For two days, Martha has woken me up but today is different. It isn't until I am almost completely ready for school, when she finally steps in.

"Thank God that you are awake. I am sorry Kate. I try to wake everyone up but after I woke up Rick, Alexis gave me some trouble. I apologize. I like waking my kids up. Do you need anything?" Her kids? Is she talking about me?

"Nah. And don't worry, I am pretty used to waking myself up. But I appreciate you for caring about me." I dig through my shirts and turn my back to her so she doesn't see my eyes tear up.

"I bet a lot of people care about you." I feel her near me but still pretend to be busy with the task at hand.

"Cher is only one person, or at least in the way that I think you're referring to. Then, yeah it's just Cher." I wipe my eyes and feel her hands, light on my shoulders. She doesn't turn me around to face her but just leans her head on mine.

"Well, Kate, I want you to know that I plan on keeping you for a long time if you'll let me." She plants a kiss on the top of my head and then leaves.

After she does, I fall on the floor and clutch my bare legs to my chest. I don't feel weird about crying around her. I usually have problems with that but not with her. The only other person I find somewhat comfortable crying in front of is Cher. I hope I will let her keep me.

I can see that I am supposed to leave in ten minutes so I pull myself together. I go through my shirts once more and pull out the closest t-shirt. It's an old concert tee from my dad. It is grey and has Guns 'N' Roses on it. The picture of the band is bigger than the band title but I know why my dad loved it, their music kicks ass. I pull it over my black bra and go in search of the new jeans Martha bought me but I don't remember where I put them. I search all my drawers before I remember that I shoved them under my bed. I dig the bag out and cut the tag on the first pair I grab. Their dark wash skinny jeans and I hop into them. I open my closet door, which is just a teal curtain, and lean over the pile of my shoes. I grab my dirty sneakers, the black and white ones, and carry them in my hands.

I am fully dressed and go to leave my room before I catch my hair in the mirror. I shudder at the lump of hair and quickly brush it out and throw it back into a ponytail. I grab my backpack, which is a simple brown backpack and snatch my skateboard before I leave. I crash into Jackson who apologizes to me.

I drop my shit near the front door and go to the kitchen and quickly say a goodbye as Jackson leaves. Alexis isn't awake yet so at the table, it's just me and Rick. Martha hands me a yogurt and an apple before doing the same for Rick. I politely decline the apple and yogurt because I do not care for them. She leaves and when she does, Rick just shakes his head at me.

"Have something against a nutritious breakfast?"

"No. I just don't care for anything apple related and as for the yogurt, I don't like real fruit in it. But I see you are enjoying yourself."

"Mmhmm." He takes another bite of his apple and it runs down his face. I want to run my finger along his jaw line but sit on my hands to resist the urge.

Martha comes back with a bowl of strawberries and green grapes, which are my favorite. I thank her immediately before devouring the bowl in minutes. When I look up, with a mouthful, I see Rick grinning at me.

"What?" I sound all muffled but he keeps on grinning.

"I like a girl with a healthy appetite. Nothing more than that." He doesn't have a chance to say anything else because Martha steps back in with an accomplished smile on her face. She hands Rick and I a packed lunch and I stare surprised.

"Kate?"

"I just have never had a packed lunch." I see her look of discomfort and I smile. "That's a good thing." She grabs my head and kisses it and does the same for Rick.

We leave together and once we cross the street, he taps my skateboard. "Didn't know you ride."

"You don't know a lot of things." I make him blush and feel glad I do. Then he bumps his shoulder into mine and we both laugh. When I step through the doors of the school, he shows me to the office. I pick up my schedule and he locates my locker for me.

Everything seems so typical; the lockers are a regular shade of blue and all the students are wearing t-shirts and jeans. Nothing new, nothing special. He asks if I am ok for him to leave and I let him. I easily open my locker and drop my board inside.

I see a girl come right up to me and it finally dawns on me, her locker is located right next to mine. I kick my backpack out of the way and she thanks me.

"My favorite song is actually one of their covers, "Since I Don't Have You". Cool." Her hair is dirty blonde and her eyes are a rich brown. I like her already. She is wearing a white t-shirt that says "It's Hard To Care About You When You Keep Talking." She is wearing red skinny, jeans and pink Converse. Over her shirt is a black vest and I admire her, right away.

"I'm Kate and that's my favorite too." She returns my handshake and I know she'll be my best friend. "I'm new."

"I could tell. You have your classes listed. Why the new school?"

"Foster care."

"Oh." She doesn't say it with an ounce of pity and she is probably the only one who said it as if I just told her the sky is blue. "Name's Ann Hastings. By the way, you're probably the coolest chick here." She closes her locker and smiles at me. "Check you later."

"K, bye." I try not to sound like a dweeb but I made a friend on the very first day of school. I quietly squeal to myself and feel someone behind me. I turn around and there is Tom.

"Hey Kate. Saw you talking to Ann. She is a burnout, a complete waste of your time. Now, our group is much better." He placed one hand on the space above my locker and leaned all his weight into it, leaving his face inches from mine.

"K. I'll choose my own friends. Now, can you please back off." I gently push on his chest but that doesn't faze him.

"She has a nose ring. Talk about a fucked up girl." He tries to kiss me and I freeze.

"Back off Tom." I barely see who said it but when Tom pulls away, Josh is there. "Leave her alone and go find Madison."

Tom does as he is told but he holds his finger up like to tell me "Just wait". I thank him then grab my backpack and run. I can't process what just happened before the warning bell rings. I am happy from the reprieve from the confusion and quickly find my class.

The classroom is sort of small but is well stocked with students. I head to the back and when Rick walks in, he ignores me and takes a front seat. I don't blame him, who wants to know the newbie? I was happy to find the class that I wanted most had an opening; English IV. I know this is mandatory but my other classes weren't.

Here's my schedule:

English IV

U.S. Constitutional Law

Volleyball

Calculus

Creative Writing

Physiology

I have 1st, 5th, and 6th hour with Rick. When the girls compared my schedule to theirs I have, 3rd and 4th hour with Madison and Jenny. And 6th hour with Lanie. Ann is in my 2nd hour and 3rd hour with me. So no matter what, I am not completely alone. When I found out Josh and Tom were in my 1st hour, I freaked. Talk about being uncomfortable.

"Ok, students, quite down. We have a new student today. Kate Beckett, can you stand up?" When I did, I immediately felt all eyes on me. "Thank you. You can sit now. Students, I want you to welcome Kate. Make her feel comfortable." I heard snickering and people whispering about me. My cheeks were red and when I looked to Rick for visual support, he completely ignored me. Tom winked at me before licking his lips. I looked away in disgust and Josh just offered me a quick flash of a smile before turning away from me too.

I felt completely alone; they mine as well have not been there at all. I pulled my notebook and book out of my backpack and my pen and tried to put my worries and attractions on the back burner. Fuck him! Rick wants to ignore me, whatever!

"Class?" Mrs. Gorie tried to get everyone's attention. "We are just about to start The Great Gatsby today but I was wondering if anyone had concerns."

My favorite book we're about to read? So much for being a newbie! I smile and feel like maybe it isn't so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4 Same Old, Same Old

First hour went well. I didn't feel too awkward about the lack of attention. I guess I was too busy smiling at all the kids who didn't understand what they were reading but Cher has always told me that I am above grade level. I guess she was right. But even my parents told me that I was wise beyond my years, they were right too. And as I head back to my locker to put all the new handouts I got stuck with, I run into Lanie.

"Hey girl. How was first hour? I hear you got stuck with all the boys. Man, they can be a handful. Well, I guess I'll see you at lunch?"

"Sure." She sure was a beauty in her pink and grey shirt dress. I mean it looked like the dress was sewed on her. Even her grey tennis shoes looked cool. "Can I just say that your outfit looks like it came out of my closet."

"Good. That means you love it. Do you want to borrow one of mine. I mean you are much thinner than me but it could work."

"Don't say that. But sure, bring me one tomorrow?"

"Sure. You look like a red girl."

"You got it. Bye." She was probably the nicest one besides Rick. But even that made me want to hurl. Why did it bother me so much that he was mean to me? He isn't my real brother. He isn't my boyfriend but I kind of might wish he was. But there is no way in hell that I will risk living with everyone else because some sick part of me wants him. Hell no! I slam my locker shut in frustration but I end up clipping my finger.

"Shit!"

"Hey, you watch your language!" A teacher who is in need of a serious shave, I mean the guy's beard has paper in it, comes over to me.

And as soon as he sees my index finger, he takes me to the nurse to get it bandaged up. I mean only a dork like me gets their finger injured by closing a locker. Dumbest thing I have ever done. That and, never mind, save that story for later. I dash to my class just as the bell rings. Ann is waving me over to a seat that is conveniently seated right next to her.

"Thanks." I quickly whisper to her and slide in my seat. I know what is coming before he opens his mouth, the same he who helped me with my finger. I get over the introductions and he hands us our weekly packet. The packet is easily thirty pages but he quickly explains that it's for the rest of the week. And that he will cover the material in class and that our notes and textbooks will help us fill it out. I think that is cool.

"He used to have no beard. Creepy thought, right?" Ann is fiddling with her nose ring and the little hoop slides back and forth.

"Weird more than anything." I stroke my imaginary beard and we both try to quietly laugh. But I take the required notes and do my best to pay attention because I only have a few months left and I have to make them count. I mean it wasn't easy to get in, I had to take the necessary tests to see if I even qualified. But now sitting here, with my new friend, I feel it was the perfect move. This class is very important to me; both as a potential lawyer or potential cop. I haven't completely decided. And who the hell knows? I could take my writing more seriously. This is the time to figure all that out.

"Make sure that you do the required reading tonight because we will be having a discussion on it tomorrow. And I will ask each of you a question. Make sure you can answer it." The bell rings and I quickly shove all my stuff into my backpack and this girl rams right into me. I bet she'll say it was an accident but she did it on purpose.

"Excuse me?" She turns around and I can feel Ann right by my side.

"Is someone talking to me?" Her blonde hair is too shiny and the light from the sun is blinding. She looks to her minions, the two blondes behind her and I can tell their blonde comes from the box.

"Gina, don't be a bitch." Ann sticks her chin out to this girl who I now know is Gina. She looks to the minions and gives me their names too. "Coby, Clancy." They're different names but I don't dislike them.

"Back off slut." She almost hisses at Ann and I pull her out of the classroom before things get too intense.

"Why did you pull me away from her? I was defending you." She pushes my hand off her arm and I don't get mad at her. I would hate if someone did that to me too.

"I know. Thanks. But you shouldn't let her get to you, that's what she wants. Trust me that I know what I am talking about." She just slings her arm around me and we head off to Volleyball.

"Line up. Allore. Attin. Beckett. Core. Criller. Darter. Dubsin. Duffy O'-Malley. Hastings. Jenkins. Karee. Queller. Rader. Suttons. Turner. Ulever. Veda. Worthington." She checked all our names off of her clipboard and then called me aside to assign me a locker and give me my gym uniform. Yes, I said uniform. I notice that the gym is divided into two sections. There are two volleyball nets and I see all guys lined up.

"We get separated?"

"Yes. There is a girls team and a boys team. Problem Beckett?" I shake my head no and walk to the locker room with Ann.

"Don't mess with Coach Palmer. She is serious shit. Just do what she asks and you won't have to ever worry about failing." I shove my crap into my locker and get ready to play with a bunch of girls who probably act like, well girls.

I spike one after another. And when I get a chance to serve, the other team doesn't have a chance. I just take all my rage out on the ball. I am angry at Tom for always coming on to me. I am angry at Josh who seems to be all over me, given in a different way, that doesn't matter. I am angry that Rick completely ignored me. I am angry that that bitch, Gina made me feel like shit. I just let it all out. I keep hitting the ball down and scoring points, making me feel a whole lot better.

I can see out of the corner of my eye that Jenny and Madison are staring at me in wonder. Even Ann has stood still the past two points. Coach Palmer is staring at me like I am a beacon of hope. I don't know what she expected from me, I didn't expect this from me. I haven't played volleyball all that much so this came as just a surprise to me as it did to her.

She blows her whistle and my team wins. Jenny, Madison, Ann, and other girls I don't know all came to thank me and tell me what a beast I am. I start to walk back to the lockers with them when Coach Palmer pulls me aside.

"Kate? Have you ever played volleyball on a team before?" She is shorter than I expect a gym teacher to be. Her red hair looks dyed and is pulled up into a really high ponytail.

"No. Why?"

"I want you to try out for the team. I mean with you we could win every game. You're a talent. So, what do you say?"

"I'll think about it." I run to catch up to the girls and they all start asking me a ton of questions all at once. "Slow down guys. She wants me to try out for the team."

"Are you going to?" Madison is twirling a strand of her perfect blonde hair and examining her fingernails. "Did I chip my nail?"

"How? You didn't touch the ball." Jenny shakes her off and tries to encourage me.

It is only the third hour and I can't help but feel it was going to be a really long day.

Lunch with all the girls was nice. It was something I never got to have. I didn't really have many friends in my other schools. I never found a group of friends, not once. Lanie and I were really psyched to get to sixth hour but I had Calculus and Creative Writing first. I was most psyched for fifth hour but I wasn't going to take the excitement away from Lanie.

Calculus was calculus, I refuse to bore you with the details. I kept laughing at the bored expressions on Madison's face. Creative Writing was the best so far. Rick still pretended that I didn't exist but that didn't deter me. He gave me my first writing assignment but of course everyone was prepared. I was the newbie. He told us to write about something that makes us turn into someone else. To think about a moment that we experienced that made us question who we are. We would submit them anonymously and that kept it more free to write.

I didn't think a class could get any better until I went into Physiology. Lanie and I were lab partners thanks to the trade off. We took five pages of notes and were given a packet. It would be due every two days. Because Friday was our free learning day, we picked the topic. I loved her, her teaching method was different but it worked.

"I am so happy that Leslie wanted to work alone. She was a stickler anyway. So much as a smudge, watch out. You want to come with? We all go to World Cup Cafée. They have the best lattes. Wanna go?"

"No thanks. I already have plans but maybe another time."

"Sure. See you tomorrow." She walked away with such a light to her that it felt good to know her. I would love to have gone with her but Tru and Quinn will be waiting for me. And with no means of talking, I have to go or Tru would call the freaking National Guard for me. I haven't missed one day with her.

I grab all my homework and my board when someone comes up from behind me and puts their hands over my eyes.

"Guess who." I know it's Rick and at just the sound of his voice, I push him away. I want nothing to do with someone who goes to great lengths to ignore me.

"Shove off." I push him out of my way and try to hurry to get to the park as soon as I can.

"Kate! Wait!" He catches up and stops me. "Where are you going?"

"To Riverside. I skate there everyday." I start to walk away once again but he stops me. "You need to get out of my way. I have plans." But he doesn't move. He stands in front of me like an authoritative figure.

"You never asked my mom. You can't go."

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me that I can't go somewhere? I should have told Martha and when I get home I will explain. But Tru is waiting for me. She'll call the frickin cops if I don't show up. So, you tell me one more time what to do, I will make you wish you never told me off. Get it?" He nods and gulps then moves out of my way.

"I am coming with you!" I stop in my tracks and let him. How am I supposed to tell a guy, who wants to protect me, that he can't? I wouldn't dream it. I ride with him in a cab while he texts Martha the development.

"You always so stubborn?" I play with my t-shirt and try not to make eye contact.

"You always carry the weight of the world on your shoulders?" I don't answer. "Ok. Do you always rebel naturally? Or is it something you've perfected over the years?"

This time I look at him. "You have no idea what I've been through. Don't pretend you know me. And do you always act like a dick to people you know?" I turn back to stare out the window and don't bother apologizing.

"What are you talking about?"

"We have three classes together and in every single one, you acted like you had no idea who I was. Dick move." I watch the people pass by and admire the feel of the city.

"I was nervous. I don't know you too well, Kate. You won't let me. You barely talk to me."

"I have only known you for four days but I still would acknowledge you."

"I'm sorry. Ok? I didn't mean to do that. You except my apology?"

"Sure." I jump out of the cab and run to find Tru. "Quinn! Where's Tru?"

"You didn't hear?" He slides himself closer to Rick and I and my stomach does a flip flop.

"What? Did something happen? Is she ok?" I grab him by the shirtsleeves, prepared to beat it out of him.

"Chill Mommy. She's grounded. She slept with that Mack guy? You know the one who has his entire body covered in ink? Well, Trace caught her. Man, did she ever get it. Said she'll be back in a week, hopefully. You still planning to ride?" He points to the heavy riders who've mastered their tricks before I could ride my board. I feel let down and decide a couple of tricks wouldn't hurt.

"Just for a little." I drop my bag by Rick who waits on a bench, watching me. I do a quick ollie. I do a few 180° s and two 360° s before I give it up. It just isn't the same without Tru. I give Quinn a quick hug before heading back to Rick.

"Pretty impressive. Glad you're done. My mom needs us to baby-sit Alexis. She has a late rehearsal. Ready?" He hands me my bag and I reluctantly take a cab ride back home with him. We don't say a thing the whole way there and I don't mind.

"Kate? Rick? Alexis?! Have a seat. Family meeting." Martha is already dressed in costume and she looks magical. The long white robe hangs like clouds on her. I get struck by the notion that she just referred to me as family.

I kick my shoes off, drop my bag and board by the door, then plop onto the couch. One of them anyway.

"I was notified by the school that prom tickets go on sale next week. Do you two have plans of going?" I was thrown off. Prom? I guess it's a right of passage but I can't imagine dancing with a guy the way most girls do. Besides, no one has asked me.

"I would like to." Rick actually seemed prepared. Of course he would, I bet he already had a date.

"Kate?"

"I don't know. No one has asked me and I doubt that someone will." I play with my hair and drop my hands when I feel her looking at me.

"Nonsense. You don't need a date for Prom. It's fun, trust me. You wouldn't want to miss it. I just love the gowns, the jewelry, I love it." Martha I realized could be swept up pretty easily.

"Mommy? Why am I here?" Alexis was changed into a shirt and shorts combo and it looked adorable on her. You could tell she had been playing for a while.

"You are family aren't you? That's why." She turned back to me. "Well?"

"I'll think about it." I smiled but inside I was freaking out. Prom? A dance with other people? Dresses? Jewelry? Fancy shoes? Something I knew nothing about. I barely wore make-up. Just some eyeliner on my top lid but that's it.

"Ok then. Meeting dismissed." I took the opportunity to wash my hands and grab a protein bar from the kitchen before preparing to do my homework. I was barely settled before Martha walked in.

"I didn't want to embarrass you out there. But, how was your first day of school?" She sat on the edge of my bed and seemed genuinely interested.

"I made a new friend. Her name is Ann, Ann Hastings. Coach Palmer wants me to tryout for volleyball even though they've already started their season. I told her I would think about it. That's it." I chewed my bottom lip, something I tend to do when I am nervous.

"There's something you're not telling me. I know that look. What happened, honey?" She placed her hand on my back and I didn't try to shake her off.

"Tom was all over me and it made me so uncomfortable. It's almost like he is harassing me. Then Josh seems to be liking me by showing too much kindness. I have never had guys look at me like that before and I don't know what to do about it. What should I do?"

"Sweetie," She rubs my head and laughs. "They like you. But this Tom, Rick's friend right?" I nod. "Thought so, he is a horn dog. If it gets too out of hand, I'll take care of it. As for Josh, he is a nice guy. Don't judge him right away. Is that why you don't want to go to Prom?"

"I wouldn't know what to do." I drop my face into my book and I can hear her laughing so I do too.

"Katie, that's part of growing up. Guys will like you, you're so damn beautiful. I wouldn't expect less. Prom is fun, trust me. You have a little while to think about it. You can get back to me. But I'll go so you can do your homework. Oh, I hope Rick told you that I'll need you two to watch Alexis tonight. Make sure she eats and gets a bath in. Will you?"

"Of course. No problem." I say goodbye then turn my iPod on. I am barely into "Clarity" by Zedd featuring Foxes when Alexis comes in.

"Hi Kate. What you doing?" She sits on my back and I laugh.

"Homework. You?" She is playing with my hair when the beat kicks in.

"Oooh fun." She jumps off my back and begins to twirl around my room. I am enjoying her too much to keep working so I slide off my bed and dance with her. I shake my hips to the beat and she mimics me. When the song slows down, I pick her up in my arms and we dance like we're doing the tango. Then I can hear the beat kicking back up so I put her down in time to dance. I hold up my finger to let her know it's coming and she is jumping from the buildup. Then the beat kicks back in and we jump up and down, twirling as we do so. I sing along to the music and when it stops, we fall to the ground.

She immediately pulls me back up and she makes me play it again. So, once again, we dance to the same song. I sing and dance with her in my arms. I know I couldn't wish for a better family to be placed with. I have a little sister who adores me in everyway, a guy whom I like but I am going to do nothing about that, a dad who is so laid back and cool, and the best; a mom who genuinely cares about me. Cher was right when she told me it was a perfect fit.

So as I dance around my room with her, I feel more like myself than I ever have before. I am so wrapped up in sweating with Alexis that I didn't know Martha was watching us from my door until Alexis waved to her. I don't stop dancing, even though I know she is watching, because I want to make this moment last forever. A moment where I feel at home. A place where the same old doesn't exist. A family I might belong to.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5 Playing House

When the song finally stops, we hit the floor, laughing and out of breath. Martha is laughing and clapping her hands and I can't speak, my voice is dry and I am trying to catch my breath. Alexis just bounces right back up like all she has been doing was sitting down.

She leaves and Martha helps me up. "Who knew she would be so good?" I smile and Martha just nods.

"I tried to get her into dancing but she never wanted to be told how to dance. She wanted to freestyle more than anything. I knew it wasn't right for her."

"You heading out now?" I turned off my iPod and threw myself back on my bed.

"In ten minutes. You finish your homework yet?" She picks up my history packet and cringes.

"I have already done two pages. I work really fast. I have some catching up to do but by this weekend, I'll be where everyone else is at."

"That's good to hear. Rick said he has no problem watching her if you give her, her bath."

"I don't mind watching her."

"I know but Rick, oh, who knows with that boy?" She waves but comes back in, leans down, and kisses my head. "Bye Sweetie."

It takes me some time to realize that she already considers me a part of her family. It's strange at first but I guess I welcome it. For as long as I can remember after losing my parents, no one wanted me to be a part of their family. Sure there were few who actually liked me but, was it really me? Or was I, like so many others, only a paycheck? I know I need to make this work more than anything right now but some small part of me wishes that they didn't care. I am grateful, don't want you to think otherwise but, if I lose them it will hurt more than if they weren't good to me. She could decide tomorrow that I am too much at this point in time. What will I do then? I would get stuck with some crappy family who treated me like dirt. I would just close myself off from others even more so. It sucks. But I can't let myself think that way. I have to live in the moment.

When I hear the front door close, I turn my iPod back on and try to quickly finish my not so interesting homework. But as soon as I pick up my pencil, Rick walks in. I should say he strolls in because sometimes, the way he moves, it's so graceful that my breath catches in my throat.

"What do you want for dinner?" He doesn't come in the whole way and I kind of want him to but if he did, how would I know that I can control myself? To not say anything stupid?

"Whatever you want."

"So if I wanted chopped liver, you would want it too?" He smiles because he knows he has me so I just shake my head. I don't trust myself with words.

"What are you doing, Sissy?" Alexis slides right past Rick and joins me on my bed. She crosses her legs and puts her head on her elbows. She is watching me with the cutest little kid smile. You know the kind that I am talking about, the kind where the most innocent are the only ones who could achieve that warmth.

"Homework. Still. But I am almost done and we can do whatever you want to do when I am finished." She lets her eyes light up and then wraps her tiny arms around me in a happy hug.

"Alexis, want to help me make dinner so Kate can finish her work?"

"You don't have any?" I am surprised. He shares the same classes with me, he should be suffering with me.

"Done. Remember I wasn't having a dance party earlier." He winks like maybe he knows what I look like dancing. "Come on Alexis." He waves her to pass him and he closes my door, with a big, happy, grin on his face.

I couldn't feel stupider if I tried to. He was watching me? Why wouldn't I expect him to be? Martha was. I just feel utterly confused and when I stare at the problems before me, I am so glad I am someone who can compartmentalize. I breeze through my homework and can smell dinner cooking. I put all my school crap away, wash my hands, and go back to change into something more comfortable. I slip on a pair of boxers that have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them and a green tank top.

I head straight for the kitchen and see Rick cooking some sort of pasta. I go closer to get a better look and I was right, alfredo. Alexis tugs on my arm and drags me to the living room and shoves a handful of stuffed animals in my face.

"These are my favorites. Wanna see more?"

"Sure." I smile at her and she gets more excited.

"Dinner's ready." Rick steps in the living room and I notice something I didn't before, he is wearing an apron. It says kiss the cook and is pink. Nothing I would expect him to wear so I burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Nice apron." He looks down in horror and I continue to laugh. "Don't worry I won't say anything." I try to stifle my laughs as I follow him back to the kitchen.

His shoulders tense when he turns around and he is standing right in front of me, mere inches from me. I never planned to be that close to him. Maybe in my dreams but in real life? No. So, when he just stares at me and says nothing, it makes the moment speak for itself. This is something that is important. We stay like that until Alexis breaks our silence by asking for a drink.

"Sure." Rick backs away and clears his throat.

"I'm gonna go in there with her."

"Uh huh, yeah. Great." He says the words so fast that I know how he's feeling. The same way I do right now. Like that could have gone on forever and we would still say nothing.

When I reach the dining room, Alexis is already sitting in her usual spot. I join her and try not to seem too weird. I doubt she would catch on but it's not something I want to dwell on. I am living in the house with him. I am supposed to be treating him like I would treat a brother. I shouldn't have these feelings. Stop Kate. I have to stop it.

"Milk for you," He sets a little sippy cup in front of Alexis, "Milk for me, and Kate, milk for you." I reach out to take it from him and our hands touch. I freeze and some chocolate milk spills on the table.

"Sorry." I wipe it up the best I can with my napkin while I feel my cheeks burn.

"My fault." He hands me his napkin to help with the mess and the dinner goes on awkwardly from there. I nervously chew my alfredo and chicken while Rick and Alexis fill the silence with some conversation that I am too dazed to hear.

After Alexis was given her bath by yours truly, she was read her story by Rick, then him and I joined each other, together in the living room for a movie. We ate popcorn and it was kind of nice. He has a big collection of films and it was hard to pick a movie. But when he handed me The Breakfast Club, I knew that was what we would be watching. I love the ending more than any other part. And when Judd Nelson raises his fist in the air, I did the same. I always do.

"I love that song."

"Me too." I help clean up our mess and when we're in the dark kitchen I get nervous. I am almost positive that he can hear my heart beating rapidly. He turns to me just as there is a knock on the door.

"Who's that?"

"I don't know. My dad is pulling two shifts tonight." Rick heads to the door and I wait in the kitchen with my ears wide open.

"Tom? What are you doing here?" Tom? What the hell? I stay put in the kitchen and try to hide myself from any possible view he might have on me.

"Is Kate home? I came to see her, not you. Sorry to disappoint you bro." He shoves past Rick and steps in, peering around. I hop up on the kitchen counter and pull my legs as close as they can get to my chest.

"No. She is at a sleepover. But I'll let her know that you stopped by." Rick tries to usher him out when Tom starts to raise his voice. "Shush, Alexis is sleeping."

"Dude, I know she is here. I can feel it. Where are you keeping her?"

"Leave. Dude, you're drunk. We can talk tomorrow."

"No way. You know you can't have her all to yourself. Share her Rick." He stumbles on air and falls to the ground.

"I am going to call you a cab. You need to go home." Rick dials and I can still hear Tom walking around. Suddenly, the air seems too still. In the eerie silence, Tom gets angrier.

"Is she in your room? Tied up maybe? She is a fine piece of ass that I wouldn't mind having. I bet you know what I am talking about. Don't you?" Tom laughs and from where I am sitting, I see Rick go tense.

"Shut up Tom! You have no idea what you are talking about. Now I called you a cab; go outside and wait for it." He pushes him forward when there is some sort of scuffle.

I hear Rick slamming the door shut and I stay where I am seated. I have no idea what went down, I closed my eyes. It had to be bad because when Rick walked back into the kitchen, he flipped a light on and when he did, I saw his face was marked up.

"Oh my God. What happened?" He walks towards me and I drop my legs so he can stand in front of me.

"I punched him. He said some things and I lost it." He held his head down like he was ashamed of defending me. It bothered me so much that I pushed him away. I hopped off the counter and stormed off to my room.

I opened my terrace doors and stepped out on the balcony. I had a great view of the night sky and the feel of the city was helping to calm me down. Did he dislike me that much? Does he regret defending me? If so, that dick! I never heard him enter my room let alone join me on the balcony.

"Go away." My nose is sniffly and I know he can tell by the sound of my voice that I am crying.

"What happened back there? You just got up and mad, then left."

I turned toward him with anger rising in my chest. "You felt ashamed of defending me. Why else would you feel so bad for what you said? I heard everything. So, just step off. If you don't want me here, fine, I'll leave. I am used to people not wanting me."

"That's what you think? You couldn't be more wrong. He said vulgar things that I hope you didn't hear. He said something to me and I lost it. I punched him and he swung back. I would like to say that I got the better of him but I doubt it. I felt bad because he used to be my best friend. Him and I were inseparable when we were little. Now, it's like I don't know him at all. I was more than happy to defend you. Please, don't think like that. Kate, I do want you here." He placed a warm hand on my shoulder and I pulled him to me. I only hugged him so calm down. I wanted to kiss him but I knew once we crossed that line, there would be no going back.

The warmth from his chest was almost too much to bear but I happily endured it. I let him hold me and I don't think I have ever felt safer in anyone else's arms, well other than my parents, but that's it. I wanted the moment to last but he let go too soon. He smiled at me then passed me a quick good night. It was an insufficient ending to a heated moment. There was no climax to that little story. Before it even got to the rising action, it died. I stayed on the balcony, needing the cool breeze more than ever. It felt so cool and calm at night.

And as I went to crawl into my bed, I was glad I left the curtains open. The moonlight shined across my room and it made the silence much better. But as I lay there in bed, I heard soft music. I knew it was Rick playing guitar and I wished I could watch him. But I didn't trust myself to be too close to him. I wanted him in the worst way. How could I keep the mystery alive?

I thought back to how he looked at me, in the way that neither Josh nor Tom looked at me. Like he was reading me like a book and was clearly enjoying the picture it was conveying. Like he wanted to see more. That he never could get enough of me. I had to let my little sick fantasies go because I shouldn't nor couldn't feel this way. There was an ache in my chest that I wanted him to fill.

I flipped my T.V. on to block out the music but I couldn't focus at all. I heard the front door open and jumped out of bed. I heard soft voices and knew that whoever was home, they were talking to Rick. There was a light chuckle then the music stopped. Someone was reaching my door and I ran back into my bed. And when Martha stepped in, I was more than thrilled.

"Rick told me what happened. Are you ok?" When she sat down next to me, I just burst into tears. "Kate, oh honey, come here." She pulled me into her arms and cradled me close to her. "I will have a talk with his mother. He better not harass you anymore." She stayed with me for a long time. Well, enough for me to fall asleep in her arms.

And all I remember about her being there was me crying and her shushing me, trying to calm me down. I fell asleep on her chest. She comforted me the way a mother was supposed to. And at first I was mad that Rick told her but after she came into check on me, I was glad he did so. It gave me a chance to let her know that I did need her. That I might need her again. That she should keep me with her because I might fall apart if she doesn't. I have never taken to someone so fast the way I have with Martha. I want to keep living here.

It feels like a game of house. The kind you would play when you were little. Except I don't want this to just be confined to a game, I want this to be a part of my real life. If this is playing house, I don't want to ever quit this game.


End file.
